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Hot Mess

by JUNK!

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Not Today 03:54
When did we grow up? When did we get so mother fuckin old? Where did the time go? So many good years have come and then they're gone And there are many more to come Yeah we will have us a great great time What if the best years are behind us? What if we're too slow to keep up? Maybe it's true what they say That times just flies away You wake up old and grey And then you pass away But baby not today Oh no we couldn't ask for more No we got nothing to complain about I got my baby yeah I wouldn't change a tiny little thing Maybe our lives have just begun Maybe the future's really really fun Maybe we gotta change our minds This is the first day of the rest of our lives Ooh yeah it's true what they say That times just flies away You wake up old and grey And then you pass away But fuck that not today
I can jump on a plane today and then tomorrow I will be a thousand miles away For just one dollar I can supersize Even though I know my stomach's not as big as my eyes If I don't the like the way my nose sits on my face I can call up a professional and get it replaced I can drive anywhere in my four by four That's how I roll baby, door to door EVERYTHING IS AMAZING I can eat a piece of meat on every day of the week I don't even need to kill it, it just shows up on my plate I can forget about the misery across the seas While I'm sitting on my couch binge watching tv In my phone I can fit a thousand years of facts But I only really use it for the videos of cats I can kill my enemies by remote control Then zoom in on their bodies with an HD drone EVERYTHING IS AMAZING
There’s no need to get undressed The power I possess can penetrate you through your dress And there’s no use for contraception My boys are way too strong when they emerge from my schlong I don’t need no erection All I got to do is look in your general direction POW - And now you’re carrying my child You never authorized and I apologize But you can use this song as a lullaby Oooh baby I'm your fertiliza Oooh baby gonna get behind ya And step inside ya Ooh sorry if I did surprise ya But you know baby I'm your fertiliza I came to see your show cos I’m a real JUNK! lover Little did I know that I’m about to be a mother You played two songs and I started to feel it Twenty minutes later I gave birth to an infant But wait what’s that? I could hear some more There’s 25 babies dancing on the dance floor You didn’t even need to put yourself inside me But boy I really love it when you fertilize me Oooh baby I'm your fertiliza Ooh gonna plant my seed inside ya And make you larger Ooh baby let me colonize ya Cos you know baby I’m your fertiliza
Yeah I got red eyes, shit rhymes No muscles, so It's no surprise that I got No date, but three mates Who step all over me to get to the bar So I drink and I drink and I drink and I drink And I think I might throw up And now the twenty five dollars that I earned this week Are down the drain It's just another Friday night I hate the DJ I hate the cover band I hate the Barbie dolls I hate the Peter Pans I hate the bar guy I hate security I gotta ask myself "what am I doing here?" So I drink and I drink and I drink and I think That I'll eat a lamb kebab Because there ain't no pussy in a mile around that wants to talk to a scumbag On a Friday night It's just another Friday night Never talk to the girls Never dance on the floor Only drink shit beer in my second hand clothes Wanna get laid, get paid And finger ladies in the back of my car But I don't know nothin' 'bout a one night stand 'Cos I ain't got the balls to try So I just cut my losses and get into a cab And then I get myself very high Another Friday night It's just another Friday night
Glen Stop biting your nails And don't drink too much
I don't think I'm evil I can't help the way I feel Every time we cross paths I don't think that I'm bad When you're looking my way And my blood runs so fast I'm not making moves Or suggesting that we Should go back to your place I'm just enjoying your scent And getting lost in your smile But nothing I would regret Cos your my forbidden girl I may be out of the game That doesn't mean that I'm dead From my hips to my toes If I'm cut do I not bleed I'm just a red-blooded man Not something I can control I know all the rules I can look but not touch But sometimes I look too much I don't mean no disrespect Although I have to confess I'm fuckin loving that dress Yeah you're my forbidden girl But if you could read my thoughts Well then there'd be in trouble Because Sometimes my mind goes wandering To a place where we can never be Maybe it's all in my mind But there's a tension I can feel I don't know if it's real And now matter how hard I try To mask my secret desires I can't deny the appeal Of my forbidden girl
This song goes out to the People who can't live without their phone I know it's really useful, but can you leave it alone? Just for A second so that you and I connect Without you looking down every chance that you get I see you scrolling through your feeds like they're keeping you alive Not productive or creative, just spending all your time Uh-oh, your battery is dead so now your world is gonna end Because of all the fuckin selfies you were tryin to send You don't gotta share this moment with your friends Just let it be a memory that lives inside your head This is the here and now, enjoy it while it lasts Cos pretty soon this present is gonna be your past RHYTHM OF YOUR LIFE Back in my day, you just rolled the dice You couldn't check the photos of the food on Openrice You just ate But now you blog about your food While everybody else is blogging 'bout their food too Never somewhere new because they don't have the reviews Only 5 stars is ever good enough for you You stopped being adventurous, not wanting to explore Now everywhere you go everybody's been before RHYTHM OF YOUR LIFE You are addicted to the unrestricted flow of information But you gotta pay attention where you're stepping to avoid collision with another person who is also on their phone Might have been a new friend, but you will never ever know Cos you missed the chance you had for meaningful interactivity Instead you got your head down looking at a fuckin tiny screen A smile or a wave could have led to a kiss But you just walked on by like this RHYTHM OF YOUR LIFE If you're ever feeling overwhelmed by all the background noise It's probably notifications comin out all of your toys So put it back into your pocket and stop playing candy crush Or I'll throw it in the toilet then I'm gonna press flushhhhhhhhhh Put your phone down fucker put your phone down We don't need to know the answer to your question Put your phone down fucker put your phone down We were in the middle of a conversation Put your phone down fucker put your phone down And pay attention to what's happenin in front of you Put your phone down fucker put your phone down Use your own two eyes you get a better view I see the wind through the trees and the ants on the ground I see the ripples on the water as the rain comes down I see the sun through the window and the curtains in the breeze It don't matter what it is, it sure is better than a screen
Leela Belle 03:19
Good morning Leela Belle How are you today? Are you a ray of sunshine? Or a cloud that's full of rain? I kiss your milky cheeks And stroke your fuzzy ears I make a funny face To stop those big fat tears Can I have one magic smile And just play here for a while How did I get so lucky How did I get so blessed I don't know many babies But I think that you're the best Every day you make me laugh My heart wants to explode With the love and the joy and pride all these feelings I've never felt before They told me you'll grow fast I didn't pay much mind But you've learned so many tricks Now I see that they were right I love the way you are I don't want you to change But every change you make Makes me fall in love again My gorgeous Leela Belle
Stretch marks Muffin top Pimple scars Liver spots Love handles Hairy legs Lazy eye Whatever man Bald head Double chin No neck Freckled skin Buck tooth Trunk junk Hair lip Don't give a fuck Brown black yellow white short tall overbite Pot belly Wheelchair Snail trail I don't care Red hair black hair brown hair blonde You're beautiful inside so just get naked Trench coat TAKE IT OFF Sweat pants TAKE IT OFF Tracksuit TAKE IT OFF Turtleneck TAKE IT OFF Bow tie TAKE IT OFF Cummerbund TAKE IT OFF Top hat TAKE IT OFF Toupe TAKE IT OFF Swimsuit TAKE IT OFF Miniskirt TAKE IT OFF Sun dress TAKE IT OFF Pantyhose TAKE IT OFF High heels TAKE IT OFF Cardigan TAKE IT OFF Petticoat TAKE IT OFF Moccasins TAKE IT OFF Underwear TAKE IT OFF Lingerie TAKE IT OFF You show me yours and I'll show you mine don't be ashamed everybody's the same First date Interview Birthday Funeral Treadmill Court case Aeroplane Outer space Skydive Cinema Office party Bar mitzvah M.T.R. Lan - Kwai - Fong Life is just more fun when you get naked
Nostalgia 01:26
Turn Around 05:12
The midnight drive to safety beach With the crashing waves and howling wind Smoking spliffs and drinking Moonshine Watch bad movies on VHS Too much time thinking bout the past Nostalgia's got me looking back Gotta turn around, live for today Showers fall on the iron roof Cotton palm drips outside my room Sammy's paws across the floorboards Watch Hey Hey by the open fire Too much time thinking bout the past Nostalgia's got me looking back Gotta turn around, live for today Fishtank bubbles beside my bed Movie posters on the wall So many shades of green and purple And the UV light makes the stars shine bright Too much time thinking bout the past Nostalgia's got me looking back Gotta turn around, live for today
See You 03:07
And now we hug and it's time to watch you walk away But then I know we'll be partying again one day I can't wait Hard to imagine this place without a you in it Now that you're gone this whole town has just turned into shit I'm so bored Sometimes it feels like 10 years since the first time we met But thinking 'bout it I know it's far shorter than that Not that long I wonder where in in the world I'll see your face again It doesn't matter cos I know that we will still be friends Anywhere I know that you got your reasons to pack up your bags But just remember the fun that you and I both had I won't forget


Hot Mess


a person or thing that is spectacularly unsuccessful or disordered, especially one that is a source of peculiar fascination.

"this album is definitely a hot mess"

Includes early demo versions of each track - some of which date back to 2005!


released March 16, 2018

Christelle Davis - Vocals on Fertiliza, Everything is Amazing and Get Naked
Phil Freestone - Guitar on Fertiliza
Leela Belle - Cooing on Leela Belle (duh)
Written, performed and produced by Glen Lloyd
Photo by ​Angus Leung


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